my astrological sign has betrayed me.

Boyfriend’s dad has an interesting fondness for astrological signs and connections.

He’s certainly no Professor Trelawny, but I guess it’s kind of his thing when encountering potential new additions to his family. I like to think of it as his front porch rifle-cleaning routine.

Anyway, early in our relationship, Boyfriend’s dad whipped out this massive handbook profiling each astrological sign, complete with each sign’s best astrological match. Thankfully, Gemini (me) is considered a compatible sign for Aquarius (Boyfriend), so I passed the test (i.e. wasn’t immediately kicked out of the mansion. Yes, the mansion.). But in reading the entire personality profile for Gemini, I uncovered a real soul-searching revelation, and not necessarily a good one.

One quick Google later, I’m able to share my findings with you.

But first, sidebar: I don’t mind product placements. No, Google didn’t pay me to mention them twice in a blog post no one’s going to read (Google – if you’re reading this, please feel free to send compensation. Maybe a t-shirt. Or a keychain. I’d take anything.), but in movies and on TV, I generally don’t get bothered by them. I notice them, but I’m okay with it.

However.

I’m not okay with obnoxious product placements. Case in point: Vampire Diaries.

(Double sidebar: Please feel free to judge me for enjoying watching the sixth grade version of True Blood. I don’t mind the heckling. If you can ignore the stunningly gorgeous but super broody/whiny Nina Dobrev, it’s a great opportunity to stare longingly at Ian Somerhalder and Paul Wesley (Everwood fans, anyone? So glad he’s back on TV.) do slightly less bloody and other cool things that you’d expect vampires to do just because they’re super attractive at being undead.)

Hot vamps aside, their promotion of Bing reeks of desperation.

Microsoft, I get it – you’re not Apple. I’m sure they’re a tough cookie to compete with. But do you really think having a catch phrase of “Oh, we should Bing that” or “I don’t know…let’s Bing it” on a show on The CW is going to boost your user numbers? Does anyone besides the technologically-challenged (with Bing as the default search engine on their Internet Explorer browser) actually use Bing?

I didn’t think so.

But back to astrology:

Says MysticalBlaze.com (very credible source, I know):

The Gemini personality stands out as the zodiac sign that knows something about just about everything, making them good conversationalists and interesting acquaintances. They are inquisitive and quick to digest new information and ideas. Intelligent and logical, but with a lot of nervous energy, Gemini likes to keep busy and expand their horizons whenever opportunities arise, often multitasking between several interests. 

Okay so far, right? Here’s the kicker:

However, as the sign of the Twins, there is a dual aspect  to the Gemini personality, making it difficult for these individuals to stick with any one thing in order to master it, and often making it difficult for bystanders to figure out which side their Gemini friend is really on. Gemini has more than one personality, which can change in a flash, and those near to them would do well to learn them both. On and off, up and down, back and forth, black and white, day and night, ying and yang – this is the essence of the Gemini personality. 

I get it. I’m bipolar. But personality disorders aside, the main part that clicks with me is this: “The Gemini…knows something about just about everything…making it difficult for [them] to stick with any one thing in order to master it.”

And I think that’s completely right about me, sadly. I’m (usually) a strong contender at Trivial Pursuit but not an expert in any one thing. For example:

Fashion? I like to think I know what looks good (and what clearly doesn’t), but I can only name a handful of designers by their work.
Cooking? I can boil water, and I’m solid at microwaving. Okay, I underestimate myself – I can make some things I really enjoy eating. But Boyfriend only likes about 25 percent of things I cook, and I usually go in without a clear idea of what I want to make, which is, quite literally, usually a recipe for disaster.
Dog training? Ha. I invite you to puppy-sit Preston sometime.
Spanish? I was fantastic in high school at translating textbook paragraphs. Don’t ask me to decir it. (See? Pretty sure that’s incorrect.)

And on it goes. I’m not in utter despair after this discovery, but it is something to think about.

Maybe I’ll finally make it on Jeopardy one day. Then you’ll all see.

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