the seven worst words i’ve ever heard.

Today was a regular day.

Then Friend/Co-Worker Jessica chatted me with this:

Jessica: I have two words for you.

Me: yes?

Jessica: elephant. parade.

Me: um. what?

Jessica: this: [link]

Me: *chat screaming (read: chatting in all caps) with the glee and giddiness of a four year old on a sugar high, something like: OMGGGGGGGGG ELEPHANTS ARE PARADING. HERE IN INDY. WE’RE GOINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!)

I then, of course, brightened the day of everyone in a seven-desk radius with mentions and cheers of elephants. And texted Boyfriend my utter excitement. And tweeted this:

I could no longer concentrate. It was 11:04am – how was I going to make it to 11:45? Elephants. Were. Coming.

Finally, it was here: 11:45. Time to leave. Time to see the elephants.

Jessica and I practically ran to the Circle from our office (our co-workers followed slowly behind. I don’t know why. The elephants were coming.). We were so happy, so cheerful, so excited.

Those are hands and faces of pure bliss.

What was supposed to happen.

Elephants parade through Downtown Louisville
This. This was supposed to happen in downtown Indy, like it did just a bit ago in downtown Louisville.

What actually happened.

We stood there, on a corner at the Circle (that makes sense, swear.), nearly getting dizzy from whipping our heads around every few seconds to see where the elephants would be coming from. A siren sounded in the distance – That must be the start of the parade coming, right?

It wasn’t.

A policeman started directing traffic, shooing away cars and bicyclists that were undoubtedly about to get crushed under the mighty feet of a herd of headdress-wearing pachyderms.

They weren’t.

We huddled in the cold but our spirits were high. We giggled as we Googled what the sound elephants make is called (Dassie was correct, they trumpet.).  We waited in hopeful anticipation to hear the glorious sounds of elephants trumpeting, our ears ready and cameras poised.

But they never came.

And then this happened:

The elephants are not parading. Too cold.

The seven worst words that could have possibly been uttered tweeted.

We slumped back to the office in silence. The sun seemed a little less bright, the world a little sadder.

In the absence of elephants, only heartbreak remains.


Add yours →

  1. I was in India, up at stupid O’Clock on our way to the airport and what did I see? A bejewled and painted elephant walking up the off ramp of the highway. I thought I was losing my shit at the time and hallucinating, but everybody else saw it too. Surreal. I love elephants.

  2. OMG, thank you for this. I just FELL out laughing.

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