Last weekend was session four.
Quick recap if you’re not aware of the process: Permanent hair removal, per Ideal Image, requires nine sessions, each one eight weeks apart. I’m removing the hair from my lower legs and bikini region, and this past weekend was my fourth session.
And each session, they kick up the laser power. Which would be kind of cool if it was akin to firepower in Super Mario Brothers, but sadly, it is not. Akin to firepower or cool.
Because the higher the laser, the more painful it is.
And believe me, lasers hurt.
So I showed up for my fourth session last Saturday in a near panic-attack just imagining the pain I was about to be subjected to. Nervously, I prepared for the treatment – spraying down my legs with some kind of spray chemical thing and wiping them with baby wipes, slipping under the horrible excuse for a sheet.
sadistic regular hair-removal nurse, didn’t seem to be working this time, so I was under the care of blonde, perky Jennifer.
Now maybe I’m getting used to the pain (I like to think my pain threshold is as badass as my immune system/acceptance of other people’s bodily functions), or maybe Jennifer’s a lot nicer than Holly. Or maybe (and I suspect this is more in line with what really happened), Holly didn’t make a note last time that Patient Hannah is already up to a laser grade similar to Dr. Evil’s Moon Unit about to wipe out D.C.
Whatever the reason, session four was actually very endurable. I still held my breath the entire time she zapped my nether regions, but with the exception of my ankles (it hurts like a mother around your ankles), the laser on my legs was almost like a pinprick, which is much closer to what the saleslady said the procedure was like (before I made the down payment, obvs) than what it’s really like. And, as usual, I still ended up looking like I’d spent the afternoon rolling in poison ivy mixed with poison oak mixed with poison sumac with a few chiggers thrown in – but hey, less pain! Who cares!
So go ahead, friends – go off and spend your hard-earned money to zap off your body hair. Session four barely hurts at all.