some lists of things.

Things I’m slightly (or much more than slightly) embarrassed to admit I like:

  • That new Calvin Harris/Rihanna song (whether or not Swifty had anything to do with it)
  • TROPICAL HOUSE
  • Condiments of nearly all varieties. Though mustard the least FORSURE.
  • The Vampire Diaries
  • Hart of Dixie
  • Spandex
  • All the cheese
  • The flower crown Snapchat filter
  • That Across the Universe Beatles music movie
  • Mayo (it is, in fact, a condiment – but it’s so great it requires its own bullet point)
  • Really bad puns no one else thinks are funny
  • The Brandi/Whitney Houston version of Cinderella, which for some reason cannot be streamed online ANYWHEREWTF
  • Duckface selfies
  • Any selfies, actually
  • Arby’s
  • Telling people I have a garden (though, as mentioned, not necessarily doing the work a garden requires)
  • CHEESEOMGCHEESE
  • Soda Crush, the Candy Crush spinoff game
  • YA novels, especially of the dystopian variety
  • Singing Disney and/or Broadway karaoke to my dogs by myself (they don’t really appreciate it) (okay I don’t sing to them) (OKAY I SING TO MYSELF BY MYSELF) (YESONPURPOSEOMG)
  • The movie version of Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat with Donnie Osmond (let’s just not even discuss mmkay?)
  • Doing laundry (but not folding…don’t really care for folding)
  • FINE ALL THE MUSICALS OK?
  • Getting sunburnt so I can then have a prolonged tan
  • Peeling off my nail polish

 

Things I’m slightly (or much more than slightly) embarrassed to admit I don’t like:

  • Showering
  • Beer
  • Answering the phone
  • Swimming
  • Tweezing (is it really important to have two distinct eyebrows?)
  • Bras
  • Sushi
  • Beyonce (no, we’re not going to talk about this)
  • Tending my garden
  • Holding babies
  • Running out of wine

 

Things I’m slightly (or much more than slightly) embarrassed to admit I get pissed about:

  • When people don’t like songs I’m obsessed with
  • When people try to tell me about a song I told them about ages ago HUSBAND I’M LOOKING AT YOU
  • When people don’t laugh at my jokes
  • When people think Disney movies are for kids
  • When places only serve beer
  • Stores that have a jillion swimsuit tops but no bottoms in my size
  • When Dex trips over his own feet and then steps on my feet because he does it all the time and COME ON CAN YOU NOT
  • When I really, really think I’m right about something and it turns out I’m wrong
  • Being woken up in the middle of the night to Preston incessantly licking the comforter because WHO LICKS A COMFORTER SERIOUSLY
  • Unnecessary capitalization
  • Meetings scheduled after 4pm
  • Running out of wine

 

Things I’m slightly (or much more than slightly) embarrassed to admit that make me cry:

  • Puppies
  • Puppy videos
  • Surprise military homecoming videos
  • Videos of military people coming home and surprising their puppies
  • Old people
  • Old people with puppies
  • Baby pigs
  • Movies with sad endings
  • Movies with happy endings
  • Movies with sad parts anywhere in the middle
  • Movies with happy parts anywhere in the middle
  • Movies with a culmination moment where things were bad but then get turned around, including montages, and even if it isn’t actually sad ever at all (the Pitch Perfect final competition, the final concert in Hairspray, more stupid final moments)
  • Most episodes of Greys Anatomy
  • Songs on my Greys Anatomy playlist
  • Songs on my “sad songs” playlist
  • When my puppies do something funny
  • When my puppies do something cute
  • When my puppies spoon me or put their paw in mine without me forcing them to
  • When my puppies cuddle me and I know it isn’t stressing them out EVEN THOUGH THE NEWS SAID CUDDLING STRESSES THEM OUT BUT IT DOESN’T OKAY
  • Thinking about if my puppies ran away
  • OMG what if my puppies ran away
  • The beginning of the Lion King when they sing the Circle of Life and baby Simba comes out
  • The end of the Lion King when they sing the Circle of Life again and Simba’s baby comes out
  • The entire Lion King stage version
  • Any song at all performed from Les Mis
  • That incredibly stupid PS I Love You movie why would you make something so sad omg
  • Videos of military surprise homecomings with puppies that also include old people
  • Proposals
  • Flash mobs
  • Flash mob proposals
  • Puppy breath
  • Running out of wine

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